I’m going to start a serie of posts talking about The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People with my own experiences that I have lived over the years.
The first habit talks about pro-activity vs reactivity.
How many times have you waited for something to happen instead of deciding what to do? How many times your mood have changed due to life circumstances and drive your own live?
Whenever you let someone else or life circumstances to force you to act or to think in some way or makes you anxious, you are being reactive.
If you follow your heart, follow your own decided plans and don’t let others or circumstances take decisions for you, you act and think by yourself, you are being proactive.
I used to be pretty volatile. I used to just wait to see what was going to happen next: Either someone calling me, receiving an email, a like on facebook or twitter to something I said or created. I also waited for bad things to happen.
It took time, and still I’m on it, and probably I will continue to struggle about it all my life everyday it passes with less effort, but started to change and to improve over the years.
One good thing that helped me with this kind of anxiety was to disable e-mail, whatsapp groups, facebook and twitter notifications to prevent myself from waiting events and to be able to focus on the things I have or want to do. And just check those things from time to time, usually once or twice per day. I sometimes even leave my whole phone in other room for days to increase my focus, or to just be able to fully relax without worries.
Of course I’m a creator, so I used to be proactive and to create things a lot of the time just because I wanted to do that.
But when things went unexpectedly I used to be alert and to have bad reactions and feelings:
“That person doesn’t like me”,
“This bad thing happened in my life”,
“This person has a better job than me”,
“It seems that I’m not worth it”,
“I’m worried about this”,
“This person is not in my life anymore, how I’m just going to continue now”.
Well. It is true that lots of things happen differently than we expect. It is true that when we are suffering bad times, there are a lot of other people living good times. It is true that sometimes shit happens; really bad things happen in our lives. But we have the power of decide how to act or at least how to feel. There are things out of our own control, that we cannot change, but we can change the way we think and feel about them.
Just focus on things you can change. You want to change something under your control because you have decided to do so? Want to learn something new? Want to change a bad habit you have? Want to craft something by yourself? Totally okay. Be positive, make a plan, and do so.
If someone disagrees with you, someone doesn’t like you, it is cold, there is a lot of wind, it is raining, someone is not in your life, you can’t go on holidays due to an accident, you are or someone close is going to die soon, a meteorite is going to crash the earth clearing all the human beings from existence, or whatever. You are just you, and things just happen. There are things we cannot change, just deal with it. We all have defects and problems, but we also have good things and things we do right. Just don’t feel bad about it. Recognize your own current limitations, but trust in yourself and your future. You are not better than other people, but other people is not better than you either. Even alone, tied in a claustrophobic, tiny, dark raining place, and being the last human being alive in earth: You are still alive; you are still special and unique.
And even tied and despised, you can still decide what to think and how to feel. Just use that overwhelming power you have 💪